For the final installment of stepping up and stepping in I am leaving y’all with some advice and lessons I’ve learned.
If you are a step child and you feel that your step parent is Satan himself resurrected in the flesh and is now married to your bio parent then please reach out and talk to someone. You are not alone, you do not have to go through this journey alone. If you can’t talk to the bio parent they’re married to then talk to your other bio parent. If that option isn’t available because I know everyone’s situation is different, talk to a school counselor, a trusted friend, or another family member. You could even try talking to your step. If you are in harms way or feel you are in danger because of them tell the authorities, do not let the fear prevent you from getting help. I wish I was this smart when I was younger, I wish I wouldn’t have been so shy and been able to talk to my bio dad about my feelings then maybe things would’ve ended up different.
If you have found yourself in the amazing position of being a step or bonus this is my advice, love that child or children unconditionally. Talk to your significant other about his/her child/children. Make sure they know that you know the kids come first, let them know you’re in it for the long run because coming in and out of a child’s life is very damaging. Know that by supporting your significant other and his/her time with their kids means a lot more than you know. Have a support system, my sister is one of my go to people that I talk to when I’m feeling way too emotional for no reason to keep me sane. Find your support group. Be mature in situations and strong even when you don’t want to be. Don’t be afraid to tell your significant other how you feel about certain things but also do it in the right way. Don’t make them chose between you and their child because you won’t like the outcome. All in all love that child or children even if you have to do it from a distance.
It doesn’t matter what you went through as a child, if you were in a two parent or one parent household, nothing will ever prepare you emotionally to be a bonus parent, it’s foreign and natural at the same time. Talk, talk, and talk again about it. Even if you start to feel like a broken record do not bottle your emotions up inside because in the end everyone will be hurt. And that is a piece of my mind, heart and soul.