Planning sucks

Ok I hate plans, I hate making plans, planning in general just irks me in ways I can’t explain. Here’s why, plans either end in one of two ways, 1 they change last minute into something you weren’t prepared for or 2 they just don’t happen at all. I always get so excited about plans, weather it’s a dinner or just a lunch with friends, always get hyped for it. But lately every single plan I’ve had or have been apart of falls apart before my very eyes. And I spend days trying to get over it because I work myself up so hard for things and it never happens. So it’s not necessarily the planning or making plans I hate at first because I get so excited for things, but when they fall through I feel so defeated and just down to the point I don’t want to do anything anymore. I’m slowly learning in life that outside things I have no control of get thrown into the mixture of life and they’re not going to be like hey before we throw this massive wrench in the day let’s make sure Jenn doesn’t have anything going on today that this would ruin. I wish that’s how it would work because sometimes I think I’d be so much happier. But I’ve also learned that everything does happen for a reason, the world does not revolve around my plans nor should plans make my happiness. This summer I got new swim suits, never went swimming, not once was I even near a pool because I worked all summer, but now I have a house. It’s very difficult for me to get excited for things now just because I’m so used to things not going the way they were supposed to or the way I thought they were supposed to, but later on down the road something else bigger happens that might not have happened if the other thing didn’t fall through. Sometimes you gotta look at the bigger picture. Yea I still get upset and sometimes angry because nothing goes according to plan, but then again it’s not really my plans that matter but someone much more powerful and it’s hard to remember that but I’m getting better at it. So planning or plans in general are not my thing, if you see me frantically running around chances are I was going with the flow and all the sudden I had something to do. Don’t be discouraged when plans don’t go the way you think they should because chances are something bigger and better is coming your way.

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